Ratings Down

From Hollywood Reporter:

Every season premiere Thursday night drew a lower rating than last fall, as returning favorites such as ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy,” CBS’ “Survivor” and NBC’s “The Office” tripped across the board.

The path away from broadcast television’s ability to deliver massive audience is firmly underfoot.  With the exception of massive tentpole events, a la the Superbowl and the Olympics, the audiences are fragmenting into a million little niches.

Within 10 years all of the big five broadcasters will be commanding the same ad rates as cable nets, and the the bigger online only shops will be clearing what cable nets get now.

We already see it on the CW.  It gets numbers that are absymal for over the air, but respectable for cable.  This trend will continue.  Especially after the digital broadcast transition.

From Slashdot:

“‘Even if all goes smoothly, next February’s digital television shift is likely to generate hundreds of thousands of complaints from television viewers around the country. A major problem during a test run in Wilmington, N.C., was the inability of over-the-air viewers to receive new digital signals, according to figures collected after the test.’”

This is just going to drive more people to cable, satellite, and the net.

AskANinja.com Takes On Pirates Live on International Talk Like A Pirate Day

The Ninja of AskANinja.com and The Ninja Handbook will attack swashbucklers and scurvy dogs worldwide on International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Sept. 19.  For a solid hour, he will answer questions live on his uStream.tv channel at 3pm PDT/ 6 pm EST.

“Ninjas just pity pirates,” said the Ninja.  “They are just poorly educated, physically disabled people with substance abuse problems.  They should not be celebrated, they should be put into a twelve step program or killed.”

According to The Ninja Handbook, just released by Three Rivers Press/Crown, everyone who reads it will surely be killed.

“Ninjas don’t just kill pirates,” said the Ninja.  “We kill everything, really, really well.”

The Ninja will be chatting live at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/ask-a-ninja-live or http://fans.askaninja.com 3pm PDT/6pm EDT on Friday 9/19.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD) is a parodic holiday invented in 1995 by John Baur and Mark Summers.  More information is available at their web site, talklikeapirate.com.

The Ninja is the creation of Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine, and has been the subject of over 100 million video downloads at www.AskANinja.com. The Ninja Handbook is available wherever books are sold, and is being released as a free audiobook in podcasts at AskANinjabook.com.

Crewing Up Through Craigslist

From CL:

This is a dictionary to help with understanding titles, requirements, and descriptions posted in the Craigslist Crew Gigs section. This may also be useful to other job boards. If anything is missing from this compilation, or needs amendment, feel free to let the creators know.

A-List –

Actual Meaning: Top name, high Q-Score talent.
Meaning on Craigslist: Formerly A-list decades ago, until they developed that nasty habit, and they fell from glory, and the headlines.

Assistant Director-

Implied Position & Responsibilities: Create schedules, keep crew and director on schedule for the day, contacting late crew members, sending out tomorrow’s schedule.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: Assist the director by getting coffee, dry cleaning, picking up food for the rest of the crew.

Award Winning –

Implied Meaning: Prestigious award or recognition for accomplishments.
Actual Meaning: 1) I submitted my film to a festival, and it wasn’t rejected. Not only that, but I got an award, such as Least Despised, Best use of Helvetica Typeface in a Title, or some other nonsensical-feel-good award.
2) Nothing.
Often seen with: Great Experience, Unfortunately, Deferred

Boom Operator –

Implied Position & Responsibilities: Holds boom pole steadily out of frame, consults with sound mixer on best microphone selection, covers for mixer if familiar with the equipment and job responsibilities.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: 1) See Sound Mixer.
2) See PA/Production Assistant

Catering –

Implied meaning: A team that prepares hot meals specifically for the crew every 6 hours.
Actual Low Budget meaning: We went out and got you pizza.

Continuity Supervisor –

See Script Supervisor

Copy/Credit/Food –

Implied Meaning: You will receive a copy of the completed work, proper credit in the film that will appear in festivals and get you more work as a result, and be fed on set.
Actual Meaning: If we ever finish this, you will receive a copy of the film, but unlikely, because of the associated costs of making duplicates. Your name may be put in the credits, if we remember you when we actually finish this thing, probably mis-spelled. You may never actually see them though. You will be fed food. It will probably be pizza or Taco Bell, because it is cheap. You will eat it every day, and it will not change.
Often used with: Great Experience, Unfortunately, Festival, award winning

Craft Service –

Implied Position & Responsibilities: a person or crew whose sole job is taking care of the people engaging in crafts (the film makers) by having finger foods, snacks, and other on set relief’s (such as sunscreen, gum, water, etc) available at a table, as well as sometimes bringing them on set to people that can not leave set.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: We have candy and possibly cold soda on set.

Deferred Pay –

Implied Meaning: You will be paid when we sell this and make money.
Actual Meaning: If/when we will sell this and make money, and unless you follow our film, know where we live, and can prove in accounting that we turned a profit, you wont be paid. See No pay.

Director of Photography/DP:

Implied Position & Responsibilities: Establishing the visual look and aesthetic of the film, guiding the gaffer in lighting styles, operates the camera and composes the shots.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: 1) Holds the camera, uses the light provided, or provides the truck with the equipment, places the lights in position.
2) Double Penetration. Your Efforts, and your wallet.
Often seen with: award winning, Experienced, highly skilled, unfortunately
See also: Equipment (your own)

Easy –

Implied Meaning: Very simple, little effort needed, we know what we are doing and taking about.
Actual Meaning: We have no idea what we are talking about, this will take twice as long as we expect, or longer.
As used on Craigslist: “We need an editor for a quick and easy job. We have 3 hours of tape that needs to have our logo put up in the corner of the screen. This shouldn’t take too long, and can be done in about an hour. Great experience for students!”
Often seen with: Editor, Experienced, no pay, great opportunity.

Equipment (Provided) –

Implied meaning: we have all that you will need, there is no need to rent anything for this project.
Actual Meaning: We were told this would work. Often the equipment was not meant for the job, or is the wrong equipment entirely for the job, or will not work with other equipment that it was intended to.
Example: Kino Ballast for HMI, RCA cable for DVI HD screen, XLR for quarter inch mixer, etc

Equipment (Your Own) –

Your own gear, provided to the project, with no mention of a kit fee/rental charges. Renting equipment and charging it to production is not an option, you MUST have everything. EVERYTHING, including expendables, which will not be reimbursed. Insurance is not mentioned, let alone covering your equipment, so when that PA that is there for the great experience and connections drops it, you shouldn’t get too upset, and should have a replacement on hand.

Expendables –

Actual Meaning: Gear that is used during the process of film making. This includes Gaff tape, paper tape, electrical tape, C-47’s, black wrap, Duvetyne, pens, markers, lens cleaners, air cans, sound reports, moleskin, bounce boards, Velcro, zip ties, bulbs, the list can go on and on. THESE THINGS ARE NOT OUT OF POCKET ITEMS.
Meaning on a Low Budget Production: Provided by department, when it runs out, we can find an equivalent, send a PA to the 99 cent store, or do without.
As seen on Craigslist: -Not seen on Craigslist-
See Also: Kit Fee

Experienced –

Implied Meaning: Highly skilled and highly paid professional.
Actual Meaning: Moderately to Highly skilled, not well paid, if at all.
Often seen with: unfortunately, great connections, experience, IMDB.
As seen on Craigslist: “We need a highly experienced DP with all their own gear and a 5 ton truck to light our Award winning short ‘Summers Dawn’. Unfortunately we cant pay you much now, (only $300) but this will be a great crew, and great food.”

Festival –

Implied Meaning: Prestigious film screening and marketing place, such as Sundance, Cannes, etc.
Actual Meaning: I got accepted at my local High school, community, etc film screening.
Often seen with: Award Winning.

Food –

Implied Meaning: you will be fed food that sustains your energy levels and keeps you motivated to continue.
Actual Meaning: You will get (pizza/fast food burgers/tacos/whatever the 99 cent store has) See also Well fed.
Often seen with: Unfortunately, Great experience, copy/credit/food

Great Experience/ Connections / Opportunity–

Implied Meaning: You will network and learn a lot from the seasoned pro’s that are also working on this set.
Actual Meaning: You will be used and abused, because we don’t know what we are doing, and neither do the department heads. Actual experience earned will be to watch out for people like us.

IMDB-

Implied Meaning: Prestigious recognition of a recognized source.
Actual Meaning: We think the best are posted on IMDB.
As seen on Craigslist: “DP with extensive IMDB credits”, “Applicants without IMDB credits will not be considered!”
Note: IMDB will post just about any project, and some of the most celebrated festival winners aren’t even listed on IMDB. Not everything created gets placed on IMDB

Insurance –

paperwork guaranteeing compensation for loss. Nonexistent on most No/low budget craigslist productions

Intern –

Guaranteed no Pay, Also referred to as slave labor.
See Production Assistant, No Pay.

Location (Neeed) –

Often searching for Apartment, House, or Mansion. No mentions of insurance, or compensation, aside from copy, credit, ability to eat production food (often pizza), as well as huge appreciation from film makers. If compensation is offered, it is $100-300 a day, or flat fee of $1000. No mention if you will be able to access your place during production.
NOTE: Your place WILL be damaged as a result of a film shoot, no matter how careful people are. That is the nature of the business. Insurance covers that, insist on production insurance, and read it to make sure that it covers damage to your property, as well as injuries to crew on your property. Also, check to see that the insurance is valid! Sad to say, but people will fake their insurance paperwork.

No Pay –

Implied Meaning: You will not be paid, compensated for your time, or given any money whatsoever.
Actual Meaning: You wont be paid at all, or compensated for expenses, will be expected to do the impossible, “work” overtime, and be treated like crap.
Often seen with: Great Experience, Excellent Connections
See Also: Slave Labor

Paid –

Implied Meaning: 1) You will be fairly compensated for your time, experience, and expendables.
2) We are professionals, and want to compensate you fairly.
Actual Meaning: You will receive $125 for your time, experience, and expendables.
NOTE: 1) Most CL posters are not familiar with the term ‘expendables’.
2) $125 is just above Minimum wage, not counting overtime.

Party Scene –

Implied Meaning: The shoot will consist of elements of a party, including extra’s drinking, dancing, and having fun. We will shoot this with coverage.
Actual Meaning: We are inviting our friends over, giving them beers, and need you to film it.
As seen on Craigslist: “We will be shooting a party Scene Saturday night, and need Art Dept, a DP, and Sound. No pay, but there will be cute girls and free Beer! Serious Inquires Only”
Often seen with: Unfortunately, great experience, no pay
NOTE: Beer is often included as a form of payment.

Pay –

See Paid

Production Assistant/PA -

Implied Position & Responsibilities: inexperienced learning position, Driver, “gopher”, coffee fetcher, assistant to whomever needs them on set, trash emptier, odd job completer. Often leads to being invited to join other crew members on future shoots.
Actual Low Budget Position & Responsibilities: same, but often for no pay or appreciation, can be a dead end position.
As seen on Craigslist: “We are looking for an awesome PA to help us out in our busy office, scheduling interviews, casting sessions, and go on lunch runs.” “PA needed to work from home replying to submissions via email for casting. Great Experience!” “Experienced PA needed to assist on set, go on runs, and assist busy producer. No pay, Great Experience! Copy/Credit/Food”

Reel –

Actual Meaning: Demonstration of abilities on previous projects in the creative sense, such as Director, DP, Editor, Composer, Art Director or Set Designer.
Implied Meaning: Demonstration of abilities.
As seen on Craigslist: “We are looking for an experienced (grip, boom operator, set dresser, PA) for our feature. Please send reels and résumé’s to this address. APPLICATIONS WITHOUT REELS AND RESUME’S WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED!
Note: These positions are not ones that have reel’s. This is analogous to requiring applicants to McDonlads to have previous and extensive work experience in the food service industry, or not bothering applying.

Script Supervisor –

Implied Position & Responsibilities: Keeping performances to the script, tracking coverage and shots to ensure that everything was covered for editing, maintaining logs for the editing process, taking continuity photographs and maintaining them for later reference when scenes are later referred to, or reshot.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: Picking up the dogshit from the lawn between takes or shoot dates, so we can “maintain continuity”.

Simple –

See Easy

Sound Mixer –

Implied Position & Responsibilities: Upon reviewing script, consulting with camera, lighting, and art department, selects microphones, mixers, and other equipment. Goes on Tech Scouts. Mixes production sound to a recorder and in some cases to camera as well, works with Boom Operator to record clean, crisp audio.
Actual Low Budget Requirements/Expectations: Show up on the day with all necessary equipment without seeing script and get good sound, even though we are shooting next to the (freeway/airport/railroad/playground). Oh, and here is a PA to hold your Boom Pole. He’s getting great experience!

Unfortunately –

Implied Meaning: We are truly regretful and/or sorry.
Actual Meaning: 1) Bend over and take it, and don’t complain.
2) We are incompetent schmucks, and this professional wont put up with our shit.
As seen on craigslist: “Unfortunately, we can not pay you at this time,” “Unfortunately, our (AD/Sound Mixer/PA) had an (emergency/Prior Commitment/mysteriously disappeared), and we need a replacement ASAP.”
Often seen with: Great Connections, Great Experience, Award Winning, Professional

Well Fed -

Implied Meaning: You will get hot, catered meals, and have craft services on set.
Actual Meaning: You get two slices of pizza.
See Also: food, copy/credit/food

Just copied the whole thing so it would be preserved.

When Do You Move On?

John August writes:

A good response at a festival is gratifying, but it doesn’t translate particularly well to the larger business.

…

Focus on what’s next. Don’t dwell on what-mighta-beens. The iron was never that hot, and while you’re at square one, you didn’t get sent any further back. You made a movie. Get the most you can out of it, then get cracking on doing the next project.

We all need to lie to ourselves in order to keep at the creation game.  I know that I felt immensely successful when we only had 150 people watching Ask A Ninja.  It’s an audience that’s larger than most sketch comedians can draw on a regular basis, so I felt like we were a success.

It was only when we really started skyrocketing that I finally knew what it fel like to be an actual success.  And that’s when the real work started on how to make that audience into a business.

It’s rare in Showbiz to have a calling card piece that can also make you money.  The net and festivals and your first feature and anything else that you make to try and get people to pay attention to you must always be viewed as a loss leader.  You are making something that will not get you rich, but it will get you attention and maybe get you a gig doing what you actually want to be doing.

If you make something that can be sustainable and has a solid foundation of ownership behind it, you might be able to turn that into a job too, but more than likely it will be a passion project for the rest of your life.

So, getting back to the headline, when do you move on?  The answer for me is as quickly as possible.  It’s why we produce so many episodes of the Ninja, it doesn’t allow us to dwell on any one installment, or to become too precious.  Just get it out the door and focus on the next one.

Okay, thanks asshole — you’re probably saying — you’ve got a successful show, when do I give up on my show that’s not as successful as yours?

Well, it depends.  If you love what you’re doing and believe in it, stick with it a little longer.  Just keep making it better.

If you don’t know how to make your show any better, create a new one!

Just know that people are out there trying o find he next cool thing that they can feature.  If people aren’t blogging about you and what you’re doing, if your friends fell like it’s a burden rather than a pleasure to watch your stuff, you should really think about creating something new.

And you should always have a plan about what you’re going to do next.  Because people may no be able to help you on what you’re currently working on, but they may be able to help with what’s next.  If you don’t have an answer for them, they won’t know what you need.

Ninja’s Got A Celly

We had an impressive meeting with the team behind SayNow.com this week and we’re happy to say that we’ve launched a new number that fans can call and ask the Ninja questions or leave a comment.

Call it yourself, 818-237-9807.

You can get a flavor of the messages so far here.

What impressed me the most about the concept is that it goes into the mobile space using technology that every phone has in it inherently.  The ability to make calls and receive SMS.  There’s also no charge to the fans or to us, though we will receive revenue based on stuff we sell through the channel and advertising.

This isn’t sexy iphone apps, it’s just solid tech approaching a problem using reasoning and business sense.

We launch about three housr ago and we’re averaging 30 calls per hour.  We’re planning on taking questions directly from the number and calling back a select amount of fans.

Right now SayNow is being used by a ton of musicians, with some groups having hundreds of thousands of fans in their networks.  Amazing.

I’ll keep you posted on our progress with it.

YouTube is a Company, We Are The Community

Nalts has a piece on Renetto becoming discontented with YouTube:

For months, YouTube Cewebrity Paul Robinette (Renetto) has been posting video blogs (vlogs) about his discontent on YouTube. He has criticized the site for how it handles the small but vocal video community, and has stirred up drama with the grace of an Olympic gymnist.

In the past few weeks, Robinette quietly launched Vloggerheads.com with 250 plus fellow vloggers. I previously reported that he was launching RenettoTube (see site), but apparently he had some help from branding experts.

This is inevitable.  We stopped actively posting on YouTube in 2006.  We stopped because we had to figure out a way to survive and make money in the days before the partner program.

But there were those in the community didn’t like our decision because they only wanted to watch videos on YouTube.  Understandable, but those people weren’t going to pay my bills.

Now some other early pioneers on the site are looking for greener pastures.  This is a natural part of the cycle.  New things become old.  Cool places to hang out become corporate institutions.  Successful people become outdated and unneeded.

By pouting that you going to take your ball and go home, you just make yourself look bad.  Like the homecoming queen that returns to high school into her 40s.  Move on with grace and dignity or reinvent yourself into relevance on the YouTube scene.

YouTube is no different than any other sort of fame or public attention.  People get bored.  They move on.

That’s why you as a creator need to be ahead of the curve.  You cannot become complacent.  Look at Madonna, she’s collaborated with the new young hotness producers for her albums going back 20 years.  She changed before she was irrelevant.

That’s what we all need to do if we want to achieve any sort of longevity.

You have to continually set your sights higher.  Try to reach more people and succeed in different forums and formats.

Breaking the Rules Right: Teen Wolf from summeroftears

Okay I’ve watched this video five times in the last 12 hours.

I’ve known about Summer of Tears since we started AskANinja.com when we saw them at Comedy Cocktail, produced by the fabulous Jay Leggett and Amber J.  I loved their stuff, and they’ve been doing solid sketch stuff for a while.

But they haven’t really broken out.

It took this video, which violates a lot of the common sense rules of making a financially successful online video: it completely infringes on copyrighted works, it had to be very expensive and time intensive to shoot, and it’s probably only a one off thing.

But.

It’s funny and it will get them noticed and appreciated way beyond the circle of fans they have now.

The investment in this video will generate enough heat to hopefully offset the time, energy and money to produce it.

And so it’s gotta be worth it for them.  Sure they won’t be able to make this into a series, but maybe they’ll be able to get a development deal somewhere or sell another idea off of the attention.

This is how you break the rules.  Massively and unapologetically.  Going in knowing that no one will ever be able to sell anything off of it.  Shows like Yatch Rock and House of Cosbys have blazed this path before to Hollywood success.  I hope that Summer of Tears follows.

Good luck and nice work.

Take The TV Deal, but only if the money makes sense

Daisy writes:

Traditional TV still has a bigger audience, bigger money, bigger everything. And like it or not, that’s still what most creators want.

So you know what I think web stars and shows should do? Tap into those TV coffers to their advantage. If a network is hot for you, grab that cash and use it to demonstrate to a much wider audience that there is awesome stuff originating online.

Sure bigger (theoretical) audiences are nice and bigger (theoretical) money is nicer, but as I implied those things are, well, theoretical.

When we did our first round of going to studios and talking to them about Ask A Ninja in mid-2006 and early 2007 you could tell they were interested, but that they way undervalued what we were doing.  THeir offers were mid-six figures for a buyout of the IP, and it was unclear what roles Douglas and I would have mvoing forward.

I know friends who were offered TV deals that were pilot peals, which meant that they would recieve $40k for a pilot script, but they would need to shutdown their website.  A website that was generating significantly more money than the $40k.

There’s other people that strictly wanted a TV deal, like the guys who did the God, Inc. show.  Talked to him briefly and through other friends knew that he wasn’t really interested in staying indie.  But the show sold a year ago and no news since.

With the recent Rocketboom deal I think we are starting to see money amount that make sense to work with the studios.

I know it’s very wacky to start even thinking this, but unless you have a very good business reason, you should avoid taking your popular web show to TV.  They will rape your baby, and won’t want to pay you enough for that.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t use your popular web show as resume piece to get work in the studio system.  Being a gun for hire on someone else’s baby, or having them take a chance and develop a new project with you is how they should be investing in you.

But them swooping in after you’ve used your money and creativity to make a show that’s popular and good?  Anything less than mid-seven figures for a buyout is a steal or if they license it anything less than high six figures.

And about that audience size.  The new Fox Business News Channel is getting around 6300 households a day.  There’s a ton of podcasts that beat that number handily.

Get Cast In Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes Contest

HOW TO ENTER:

Post a video at www.youtube.com/realredmenace or a response video on YouTube to: (video entitled: “I Got Killed by a Tomato!”)

Or post a response video on Seesmic (conversation entitled: “I Got Killed by a Tomato!”)

Follow the on-screen instructions and complete the entry form by providing all of the information requested. Entry will not be complete until Participant has followed the onscreen prompts to upload and attach the video (hereafter, “Video” or “Submission”) to his or her entry.  Entry is not complete until Participant has followed the online prompts to upload the digital file containing their Video Submission and affirmatively accepted the Official Rules.

Contest Begins:  7:00pm (Pacific) on July 24, 2008

Contest Ends:  Midnight (Pacific) on August 24, 2008

Contest Judging: On or about August 25, 2008.

Potential Winner Notification: On or about September 2, 2008, the potential winner will be contacted to confirm eligibility and obtain releases, as set forth more fully below.

Note: You will not be allowed to enter the contest if you do not agree to the Terms and Conditions.

Making Time For Family And Baseball In NYC

I’m in Manhattan in a small hotel room that I’m sharing with my dad. I treated him and my brother Jeff, who lives here in New York, to the Yankee game last night and saw our Angels win 1-0.

I over splurged on tickets right behind homeplate.  My first (and probably last) frivolous purchase since the Ninja really took off.

But you know what? This is all about memory creation. My dad kept saying he felt like Ned Beatty.

He meant like Ned Beatty as the dad in Rudy entering Notre Dame stadium, but my bro and I kept joking that people would think he meant Ned Beatty in Deliverance.  *squeal*

Ahem.

Anyway, Dad was touched. So was my brother. This is the first time the three of us have really hung out together. I’m even trying to remember back to when I was a kid. Dad and I did stuff and Jeff and I did stuff, but never the three of us.

I asked Dad about this at brunch today and he said that our sister Debbie would’ve freaked.  Maybe that’s true.  It’s probably also due to my parent’s strictly egalitarian method of raising us,where they tried to be  as equal as possible with their love and attention.

So it’s nice just spending time with the three of us.  It’s nice peeling back surface of Dad especially, since he can get stuck into infinite loops of  surface conversation.  When you are forced to engage  him continually he surprises and delights with insights about our childhood and his life.

I have a feeling that this trip will be remembered for a while by all of us.

Today we went to the Guttenberg, another thing Dad wanted to see.  On display was the art of Louise Bourgeios.  An artist that I was not familiar to prior.  The main gallery is just as spectacular as it seems in photos.

Now we’re napping/writing/praticing the flute.  I’ll let you figure out who’s doing what.

Pictures will posted next week when I return.